Final Act
by Errol's Feather
Summary: The last thing Stella does prior her death and what happens right after.


**_Authors Note : _**This story came to my mind as well I've been having a grey day, so I though I share it. For those of you that should be sensitive of the material, please do not read.

_**DISCLAIMER**_**:** I don't own CSI: NY and I don't make any money from it

**_Warning: _**Suicide.

_**Final Act.**_

_My dearest Mac, my amazing detective._

_I write to you as a final act, as I can no longer go on with life, it is simply too hard. I could have asked for you to come save me, only this time it didn't feel like the right thing to do. You have already done that so many times before, for which I am forever thankful for._

_You always had my back, even at times I did not deserve it, but then again that is what good partners and great friends do, am I right?_

_I can picture you smile when you read this, your beautiful smile, I always loved that, not to mention your laughter, it always made me smile and laugh as well. To me that laughter is one of the greatest sounds in the world; it used to make me so happy. _

_Used to…_

_I must say after I left you and the others I never seemed to find happiness again. I thought I did the right thing by leaving, but turns out I was wrong as I could only feel sadness and loneliness after that._

_It was like something was missing when you are not there, I even miss our fights._

_I can't seem to smile anymore, or to laugh, it's simply too hard. All I can seem to do is cry. And there is no one there to comfort me. Back in New York it used to be you. Here it is no one and I simply can't take it._

_It's too late to go back, I missed out on too much already._

_I just wanted you to know how deeply I love you Mac, not only love, but respect you, and also admire you. You must be the finest man I have ever met. I loved serving under you and next to you for what seemed like a lifetime. I cannot find words to describe how you made me feel._

_I'm sorry that you have to find out like this, I really am, but I didn't know what else to do, as I said before life without you, well it's just worth living. _

_From the bottom of my broken heart, I love you, always remember that._

_Your Stella._

* * *

She carefully folded the paper and wrote his full name on it, so however found it would make sure to give it to him. Or at least she hoped he would get the letter.

She put her badge on top of the letter, gently letting her fingers stroke over it one last time.

"Goodbye my handsome detective," she whispered, letting her hand press the trigger.

A moment later she lay dead on the ground, blood running from the hole in her head, onto her cold, wooden floor. The stain would remain for a very long time. Not that she would have to worry about that, she was after all dead.

* * *

Mac got the news of her death the next day and flew over to claim the body. If Stella didn't have much, she should at least have a proper burial and he preferred it was in New York so he could visit her grave site as often as he could.

As he looked at her dead body on the slab, a shiver run down his back, he never figured she would do something like this. It was just not in her character, she would come to him before it got to this point.

Then again they had fallen a little apart after she moved away, so he couldn't blame her. Yet something inside him wished that she had. He sighed as he said he would take her back with her an hour later and wanted her ready then.

The coroner nodded. Mac was just about to leave to take care of the paper work when an officer came up to him and handed him a letter. It read, "_McKenna Boyd Taylor Jr," _in her writing.

He quickly found a private spot in the building so he could read her letter with no interruptions. When he was done, silent tears started to fall to the floor. "I loved you to Stella," he whispered, more to himself than anyone else. He might have been too late to stop her, but he knew one thing and that was that he never would forget her. He would carry her with him always inside his heart.

* * *

Feedback always welcome and very much appreciated :o)


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